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第一次

和喜欢的人在深夜湖边散步
抚摸她的身体

ohhhh今天可真是青春的一个晚上

我真的很向往这段恋情呐!!!!!!

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开学第一周

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I don't know, but sometime i feel i am not exist. Always there to spectate on other's life. 看着 微博 ins 还有youtube 看着别人的精彩生活 就感觉自己不存在似的 我没有故事 没有我喜欢的东西 没有feeling 没有喜欢的人 没有想法 Depersonalisation is a terrifying condition. Psychologists believe it is a survival tool the brain uses. It 'numbs' emotional responses, which can allow people to think rationally when they feel severe emotional trauma. For example, if somebody needed to escape from a burning building, depersonalisation/derealisation would kick in to allow that person to focus on escaping, rather than being overwhelmed by fear. After such an event, the dissociative state should lift. However, when DP/DR doesn’t lift it becomes a disorder and it’s horrible to live with. It's difficult when the things that used to inspire me no longer give me the same dopamine rush they used to. Things i do that don't feel like myself  在社交媒体上看别人的profile, 信息,图片 一直切换task,multitasking  在人们面前假装自己talktive 穿着打扮没讲究/比...

day 1

it went pretty well! I get up without looking at my cellphone first. It really does make a big difference cause i get to focus on my mind and my body as the first thing i do instead of indulging my attention into a big chunk of information which is likely to cause anxiety for me. After i had my breakfast, i talk to chirag a bit, had a productive working on biztech. I slept for two hours this afternoon tho. It was okay i guess but i didn't went the way i want. I guess afternoon is the time that i get easily slack. And i am not saying slacking is a bad things. But the things is I couldn't sleep well in the afternoon. So everytime it ends up making me even more unrestful and anxious since i wasn't either having a quality break or being productive.  Need to figure a way out to pro.